HR Confessions: Management Style That’s Vague Enough to Cause Chaos
📣 Not every bad manager is a villain.
Honestly, some are just straight up overwhelmed, over-promoted, and quietly drowning in decisions they were never trained to make!
I want to make that distinction clear, because this edition of HR Confessions isn’t about the bosses who scream at people in meetings, or the ones who mysteriously promote their “work bestie” right after a company retreat.
It’s not about the ones who intentionally create toxic environments to push people out without paying severance. Those stories exist (and they’re absolutely important) but this is not that.
This is about the leaders who aren’t bad, but aren’t exactly helping either.
The ones who want to do right by their teams…but end up causing chaos because they’re stuck in analysis paralysis.
Or too afraid to say the wrong thing.
Or simply repeating behaviors that worked in the Before Times™ back when the world wasn’t being rewritten by AI, remote work, and existential burnout.
They’re not toxic. They’re terrified. 😬
And while their impact can still be harmful, their intent matters, especially for those of us in HR, who live in the crossfire between employee frustration and executive fear.
So in this edition, we’re making a lil room for nuance!
We’re still spilling the tea, yes, but we’re also offering a little compassion, because sometimes the messiest part of people ops isn’t the drama…it’s the good people making bad decisions for very human reasons.
Make sense? Awesome, let’s unpack a few examples!
Confession #1: The CEO Who Won’t Lead
📣 “I have a CEO who refuses to give directions to his executive team. When asked for a definitive answer, he responds, ‘That is an interesting point.’ This has led to infighting by his team, which has trickled down to the staff. He appears confused as to why the culture of this organization is chaotic and uncomfortable.”
Let’s start here: I have no doubt this CEO thinks he’s empowering people.
He probably read a LinkedIn post that said something along the lines of “Great leaders don’t give answers, they ask questions.”
YAWN.
But this isn’t thought leadership, it’s actually leadership AVOIDANCE.
And when the top of the pyramid avoids clarity, what trickles down is confusion, ego clashes, and Slack battles at 2PM on a Tuesday!
Here’s the plot twist, though…I don’t think he’s power-hungry or manipulative, I think maybe he could be scared.
Scared of being wrong, scared of alienating his team, and scared of making a call and being held accountable for the fallout.
How I’d Handle It:
Simply put: start with empathy, end with reality!
If you’re close to this leader, you’ve got to name the ripple effect.
Show him how his ambiguity is creating decision fatigue for everyone else.
Use real stories, like “When you say ‘that’s an interesting point,’ your VPs go in five different directions. Then employees spend three weeks cleaning it up.”
Pair it with an ask: “Let’s identify 3 core decisions you’re willing to own or delegate to a specific person this quarter and communicate them clearly. That alone could reset the tone across your team!”
This isn’t about forcing decisiveness overnight, it’s about creating a leadership ecosystem that helps leaders see that clarity is care, not control.
Confession #2: The VP with the Surprise Survey
📣“I really want to slap one of our VPs after he took it upon himself to put out a survey evaluating the event I just worked three months on executing, without asking anyone if it was wanted or needed, and without thought to how the data would be used.”
Ah yes, the pop-up survey: HR’s least favorite sequel to “we should’ve aligned on this.”
This one lowkey hurts extra because it involves effort.
Three months of planning, cross-functional coordination, probably a last-minute AV crisis, and then…a rogue evaluation survey with zero context or consent!
This isn’t sabotage. It’s not even personal (even if it feels like it).
It’s what happens when someone wants to feel in control, but doesn’t understand the difference between measurement and meaning.
How I’d Handle It:
First, breathe.
(Bonus option: scream into a pillow)
Then, set a recurring post-event debrief process that includes you, the team, and yes, even the VPs.
Tell them: “We love feedback. But we need structure around how we collect and use it, otherwise it’s chaos disguised as input.”
Offer to own and co-design a feedback template together for future events!
Make it feel collaborative, not corrective.
And hey, if you’re feeling spicy, you can even ask them to present the data insights at the next team meeting. 💡
Watch how fast they stop sending unvetted surveys when they have to EXPLAIN what the heck they were trying to learn!
Confession #3: Congrats on the Compliments, Ignore the Complaints
📣 “Our company just completed an employee engagement survey. Here’s hoping we actually do something with the feedback instead of trying to explain away any of the complaints/concerns and amplify the compliments.”
If I had a dollar for every engagement survey that got turned into a highlight reel and then quietly disappeared into Google Drive purgatory…my piggy bank would literally explode. 🐖💥
Look, I get it. Feedback is hard, especially when it tells you that you’re not the hero of your own workplace story.
But here’s the thing: ignoring feedback is a decision. So is only listening to the parts that feel good.
This behavior often comes from well-meaning leaders who do care, but haven’t built the muscle to hear critique without spiraling or trying to logic their way out of it.
How I’d Handle It:
Before you even launch the next survey, align on this: what are we willing to act on?
If the answer is “nothing,” don’t run it. Seriously!!! Consider whether there’s a different topic where feedback is more likely to motivate change. Do that instead.
If you’re ready to step up, you can create a simple framework:
👂 What we heard
▶️ What we’re doing
🔎 What we’re exploring
🚫 What we can’t change (and why)
Make it public. Make it timely. And make sure someone is responsible for keeping the follow-through visible.
Employees don’t need perfection. They need proof that their voice matters more than your ego.
Why These Confessions Matter
Is it easy to drag bad bosses? Yes. Is it also kinda cathartic on some days, because we’ve all dealt with them at some point? Also yes!
But the reality is that not all of them are out to make our workdays miserable.
They’re humans trying to lead through massive change with outdated playbooks and limited emotional support.
They don’t need takedowns. They need tools.
They need systems that reduce ambiguity, surface real feedback, and give HR actual visibility into what’s working and what’s quietly on fire.
This is exactly why tools like HiBob are so critical!
HiBob is the platform built for the messy middle, where your org isn’t toxic, but it’s not exactly aligned, either.
It helps HR teams get out of spreadsheet purgatory and into people-first strategy that moves the needle and makes a difference!
With HiBob, you can:
✅ Run surveys that don’t vanish into a black hole
✅ Empower managers without micromanaging them
✅ Track performance without making it feel like a performance
✅ Get real-time insights that help your leaders make confident (not chaotic) decisions
Basically, it’s like a Swiss Army knife for HR, but designed by people who actually understand People Leaders and their needs.
So the next time your CEO responds with “that’s an interesting point,” at least you’ll have the data to make the right call.
Because HR can’t fix everything, but we can set the foundation for people to do better, lead better, and show up like they mean it.
See how HiBob makes orgs less chaotic.
Keep fighting the good fight for your teams, and to your leaders, please, for the love of all things sacred, stop launching surveys without telling us.
