3 types of conflict at work: 

What if I told you conflict at work was quite common?

Did you just tense up reading that?? 

Well get ready to feel a tad bit more uncomfy. 

85% of employees report dealing with conflict at work costing the US workforce around $359 billion a year… 

That’s a lot of conflict and a lot of dough. 

This especially shocked me: only 1% of HR professionals report having formal training on managing workplace conflict. 

I sure haven’t! I got trained as a peer mediator as a middle schooler and then reprised my role as a conflict mediator as an RA in college. If you can handle random college roommates arguing, I’d say you can handle anything! 

So consider this your crash course on conflict. 

Over the next few weeks I’m going to cover types of conflict, where they stem from and how to build strong relationships that can endure conflict. 

Let’s start with 3 common types of conflict that pop up at work. 

Task:

I hate the phrase: That’s not how I would do it. 

Um, good for you?? I’m going to do it the way I think it should be done. 

Boom! Conflict. Been in this exact scenario with my older sister more times than I can count. 

The chances someone at work is going to do something exactly like how you would do it is rare… 

🪄What makes task conflict tricky: no two people are the same at work, so different perspectives and approaches are bound to exist. It’s almost impossible to avoid! There’s also the following to consider:

• It can get emotional; people tend to get intense about their ideas and their routines. 
• It can impact the broader team causing divisions that could lead folks to pick sides.
• It can delay decision making. A team can get stuck in debating how to do something and never come to an agreement. Maybe even missing deadlines… 
• It can lead to groupthink. A team may avoid the conflict by simply agreeing with the majority leading to groupthink where the best decision could be missed. 

🗺️How to navigate: 

1. Facilitate an open conversation: this is crucial for everyone to feel like their ideas are being shared and heard. The goal here is to LISTEN not debate what idea is best and to give everyone a chance. 
2. Align on the goal: what is the group trying to accomplish? Make sure everyone is on the same page. 
3. Agree on a solution: evaluate all the possible solutions and determine what path forward is best. Might I suggest exploring the disagree and commit philosophy?

✨Why you need task conflict: When done correctly it can foster creativity and innovation. Just remember not to let it go unhandled. 

Role: 

Wait, is that even their job?? Why are they working on that? I think they’re overstepping. 

How many times have you heard this? Or maybe even said it… 

✨Welcome to role conflict. ✨

Role conflict emerges when there isn’t alignment on job expectations, authority, and/or responsibilities. 

Sometimes all 3 at once!

🪄What makes it tricky: there are many layers to role conflict and it can have a wide impact. Here are some other things to consider: 

• Conflicting demands: individuals may get mixed messages from different stakeholders that can pull the person in different directions. Ever leave one convo with clarity then go into another convo and leave without that clarity? Been there! I once had two-ish bosses and both would tell me to work on different things. A total clusterfu*k and exhausting! 
• Ambiguity in roles: If you’ve ever worked at a startup this one will feel like a daily challenge. Expectation setting is the key to success but without a clear role how can you set the right expectations. Cough you can’t cough. You also can’t resolve this conflict if there’s still ambiguity! 
• Multiple roles: Some people juggle multiple roles at an org – like manager, project lead, team member. Each role comes with a different set of expectations and sometimes those roles are in conflict with each other. Hello inception of role conflict! 
• Power dynamics: role conflict can emerge when power dynamics come into play. Imagine conflicting expectations from your peers vs management. See: overstepping example above. 

🗺️How to navigate: 

1. Clarify role & expectations. Before even attempting to resolve role conflict make sure you have a clear job description with the role, responsibilities and expectations outlined. Yes, those are 3 different things. Once outlined, meet with the individual and lay out the role to ensure there’s alignment. I love to add: what isn’t in your scope to make sure the individual knows what isn’t in their purview and what not to focus on. 
2. Communicate: not just with the individual, with the team and broader organization. Everyone should understand the role others play in the organization. If your organization is bigger, informing your broader org might not be needed but if you’re a startup though I’d say everyone MUST KNOW. 
3. Create a feedback loop. Not just with the employee but with their peers who work closely with them. Role conflict doesn’t just magically resolve itself, there’s usually an adjustment period. Make sure you’re getting feedback consistently. 

✨Why you don’t want role conflict:  Role conflict can create incredibly stressful situations for the individual and those impacted. It can disrupt team dynamics, collaboration and productivity. 

Don’t avoid this conflict – address it immediately. 

Relationship:

I just don’t get them! Our personalities don’t vibe. They’re too direct!

Ahhhh relationship conflict. I’ve been here more times than I’d like to admit. 

Relationship conflict is when there are tensions or disagreements that come about from different personalities, communication styles, values or any personal factors. 

While task and role conflict are related to work specific issues, relationship conflict is related to the personal and emotional dynamics between people.

Ooof and it gets complicated AF. 

🪄What makes it tricky:

• It’s emotional. Relationship conflicts usually involve emotions like anger, resentment and frustration and those emotions can easily cloud judgment. Emotions tend to also make a situation escalate in ways that can get out of hand quickly like personal attacks or passive aggressive behavior.  
• It’s personal. Relationship conflicts come from personal preferences, and we all have different preferences! Not to mention our preferences make up WHO we are which can make compromise feel impossible. 
• Miscommunication: misunderstandings play a big role in relationship conflicts because we all interpret things differently! And that misunderstanding can lead to incorrect assumptions about INTENT. I guess that’s why everyone loves the “assume positive intent” phrase…  
• Team dynamics: relationship conflict can really mess with team dynamics which can hurt engagement and productivity. No one wants to be trapped on a team where two people are constantly feuding. 

🗺️How to navigate: this can be incredibly tricky to navigate and frankly there’s no one perfect way to do it. Here’s a lightweight process you can try to meditate the conflict:

1. Acknowledge the conflict. You’d be surprised how often this is skipped. It will take being direct and honest which can be a struggle for some folks. But everyone has to be prepared to share their perspectives and acknowledge the other person’s experience. Set the stage correctly, ask open ended questions and be prepared to cut the convo short if things get out of hand. 
2. Focus on finding a solution. Once the grievances have been aired, move the conversation to finding a solution. You can frame it as finding a positive working environment or how the team has a common goal to achieve. You want both parties to feel like they have a part in finding the solution and collaborating. 
3. Agree and follow up: Outline what each person agreed to what a follow up looks like and set a timeline to check back in. Be prepared to privately check in with each party. 

✨Why you don’t want relationship conflict: it’s disruptive in all the worst ways and displays a lack of trust between others… 

Relationship builders: 

What makes a relationship strong? 

That’s the million dollar question. 

Trust is a pretty solid foundation but there are other things that can improve a relationship… 

Next week I’ll tackle aspects of strong relationships that endure and enjoy conflict. 

Yes… it’s possible to enjoy conflict!