✍ I’m new to HR and I feel like there’s constant fires to put out with employees being upset about things or submitting complaints. Our HR team feels unappreciated and like we can’t win. Our organization always thinks we’re the bad guys, even though we work so hard and truly care so much about helping the organization. Is this normal? Are they just a difficult client group? I’m feeling so discouraged!

Context: 200 people, progressive nonprofit

Jessica Winder, Head of Talent at Tailscale:

I’m sorry. The only way out of the “bad cop” role is support from the leadership team to change the narrative.

Corinne Irwin, HR Consultant and Career Coach at PeopleThrive:

I spent most of my career in nonprofits that considered themselves progressive. The constant fires and people being upset was the norm (in some cases the scarcity mindset that can frequently exist in nonprofits that need to fundraise annually directly impacts the culture and staff experience). I think the lack of appreciation isn’t always the norm–as Jessica said, leadership support is necessary for HR to be seen as true strategic partners and a valuable resource. I’ve seen this shift for better and worse within the same org sometimes, just based on leadership changes.

Jessie Fields, Director of Talent Development & DEI at C2FO:

Ugh, I’m sorry. Dynamics like this make the job feel extremely lonely. In addition to what Jessica and Corinne have said, if you’re looking for ideas, I’d recommend 2 things:

  1. Go find at least one leader in your org who trusts you and the HR team. I feel like there’s gotta be at least one! Ask them questions like what helps them create a trusting relationship and what they expect from their HR partners. Share your expectations too! Use this “HR Champion” as an example and reminder of the value you bring, and eventually you might be able to ask them to advocate for you in rooms you aren’t in.
  2. Treat every employee interaction as an opportunity to build trust — even when you’re spending all day hearing their complaints. Don’t be shy to say, “here is what HR is here to do…”

Good luck, you aren’t alone!!

✍ How can I give feedback to my direct reports when my own manager can’t provide me with accurate expectations for our team?

Context: I have 4 direct reports I manage daily. MY manager tries really hard and shows me that they care but often drops the ball when I ask for actionable feedback + expectations for our team performance. Small business in tech industry.

Alex Clermont, Director of People and Operations at TDC:

What expectations do they have now? Presumably, when they come to work there are tasks they are supposed to do and some standards about how they are supposed to do them. Evaluate what you can see.

You can even be clear with them that you’re trying to get additional feedback from above, but in the meantime based on what you see xyz. Focus on evaluating them as individual contributors instead of by team standards, until you have those.

Jessica Winder, Head of Talent at Tailscale:

I’ve been in this situation before and I wrote it out myself for me and all my team. Then sent it to my manager to edit/review. It’s easier to give them something to work from then having them start from scratch which I know it’s your job but it worked for me when I did it.

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Patricia Wortham, Executive HR Leader at GridStor:

I have been there. I would use the annual strategy that cascades to the departments and team members and let them know what you are working on. And follow what Alex and Jessica suggested.

Jessie Fields, Director of Talent Development & DEI at C2FO:

Managing others is tough, but one of my favorite things about it is even when the Culture (big C) around me isn’t ideal, I know I can foster a more ideal micro culture (little c) on my team. And it sounds like you are doing exactly that — what a gift to your employees! So my advice, stick with it even if you don’t have feedback from above. What you’re doing is incredible already.


Hebba Youssef
Hebba Youssef
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