Hiii,

We made it, y’all. Happy Friday, friends!

We’ve officially wrapped up a wild week, and yes, I’m already fantasizing about turning my brain off and watching that latest The Challenge episode.

But before we drift into weekend mode, let’s get into this week’s questions: 

One about surviving an investigation into a toxic HR department (yep, the call is coming from inside the house), and another from someone crushing it at work but stuck in a company that refuses to budge on location flexibility. 

Loosen that death grip on your mouse and let’s get it started!

And keep up the question submissions! 

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ASK AWAY

🤔 decisions & leadershipCopy anchor linkCopied

✍🏽 How do I best approach an investigation into the HR Department? We have had a lot of turnover due to toxic HR leadership, and one of our departing directors blew the whistle. One of our Executive Leadership members is now hosting several managers for meetings to investigate the state of the department. What is the best way to approach my meeting?

Context: Retail, 10k+ employees

📣 Annette Guerra Gonzales, Director of HR @ Kerrville Public Utility Board

I think a third-party investigation would be the best approach. Since they wouldn’t have prior relationships with anyone involved, their findings would be unbiased, and employees may feel more comfortable opening up.

As Margaret pointed out (see response below), there aren’t many safe options for employees to raise concerns about the very people responsible for upholding our code of standards and ethics. To me, that points to a bigger issue: leadership isn’t communicating effectively, and it shouldn’t have gotten to this point.

HR leaders especially have an opportunity to set the tone by holding themselves — and their teams — to the highest standard, which could help rebuild trust and encourage more open dialogue.

📣 Beth Porreca, Senior Director @ USA Football

I’ve experienced a similar situation in a company with under 100 employees, so I understand how quickly toxic leadership, especially in HR, can affect the entire organization. When we faced this, we brought in outside counsel to lead the investigation rather than having an internal manager run it. That approach helped ensure neutrality and built more trust among employees who were hesitant to speak up.

For your upcoming meeting, I would suggest the following approach:

Be objective but honest: Share your experiences factually and avoid emotional language. If you’ve witnessed toxic behaviors or mismanagement, provide specific examples and explain how they impacted your work environment, team/direct repoort or team dynamics.

Focus on patterns, not people: Rather than pointing fingers, talk about consistent behaviors or issues that point to larger systemic problems within HR.

Highlight the impact: Toxic leadership in any size org can lead to rapid turnover, low morale, and mistrust. Emphasizing these consequences helps leadership understand the urgency and scope of the problem.

Offer insight, not just criticism: If you have ideas about what a healthier HR function could look like, share them.

Support the process: Express appreciation that leadership is taking the initiative to investigate. Reinforce that you're willing to contribute honestly to help create a better workplace culture.

By keeping your input constructive you'll help leadership better understand what's going on and how to move forward effectively without coming across defensive, negative, etc.

 📣 Rosetta Williams, Sr. Director, People Talent & Culture @ Immigrant Justice Corps

Below is a guide on prepping for an investigation meeting:

1. Set Your Mindset

• Be professional, not personal – avoid venting or assigning blame.
• Stay fact-based – focus on what happened and the impact, not speculation.
• Frame as business impact – tie issues to turnover, morale, compliance, or lost productivity.

2. Gather Your Input

✔ Document examples – bring 2–3 specific incidents that demonstrate trends.

✔ Identify patterns – e.g., poor communication, lack of consistency, favoritism.

✔ Balance your view – note if anything is working well, to avoid appearing one-sided.

3. Share Themes (Not Just Stories)

Instead of “This one person did X,” frame as:

• Theme: “Decisions were made without clear communication.”
• Example: “In 2024, our ER cases were reassigned with no notice, which left managers without support.”
• Impact: “This led to delays and loss of trust in HR.”

4. Present Constructive Solutions

Executives want to hear a path forward. You might suggest:

• External HR audit or interim leadership.
• 360 feedback for HR leaders.
• Regular HR-business partner check-ins.
• Training in leadership, communication, and accountability.

5. Protect Yourself

• Use professional language – no personal attacks.
• Be concise – avoid oversharing beyond your examples.
• If retaliation is a concern, confirm confidential reporting channels.

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

✍🏽 I’m doing great at work and have an amazing manager and team, but I feel stuck because we only hire in major cities and don’t offer remote options. I just bought a house near family, and while I want to grow with the company, I’m not sure whether to move or push for change. What should I do?

Context: 70,000 people company in finance. I really like how supportive everyone is at the company, but the answer from senior leaders is clear: you need to live in a major city. Thank you so much!

📣 David Blanchard, Vice President, Employee Benefits @ Lockton

Remote, Hybrid or In-Office... The challenge is real for organizations and the teams that they rely on.

In my experience as a consultant helping employers maximize their investment in their workforce, my advice would be to ask your leader. I'd suggest framing your question thoughtfully and frankly, and to lay out exactly what you've shared here - that you love what you do, who your work with and the organization as a whole. And that you also love where you live and the home you've created. Let them help you solve the challenge, and don't presume to know what their reaction will be.

I've seen organizations of all sizes make exceptions to policies, and having a frank conversation about the goals of both yourself and your team will go a long way. I have a very good friend who is the leader of the Benefits team of a large global organization with similar rules. She lives about 3 hours from their office and has arranged for the company to pay for her train trip to and from the office one day each week. That model works for her, her division and for leadership. Infinite models exist, and few of them are as blunt as "move your family or else."

📣 Sandi Creyaufmiller, SVP Culture & Talent @ Marine Bank

Congrats on having a supportive manager and team. I would have a conversation with my manager about why the thought process requires employees to be located in major cities. Is the reason solid or outdated?

You value being close to family, and you have already made the financial commitment to buying a home near family. However, I think you need to be prepared that leadership will not change its policy for you. Be prepared to accept a different position, possibly with a new company.

📣 Corina Ocanto, Vice President Workplace Strategy @ Stream Realty Partners

This is a real situation for both sides, and you're far from alone.

Big picture: companies need and should define their stance on where they work, stick to implementing accordingly, and provide guidance around how and why. Wishy-washy policies that apply to some people and not others end up having terrible impact on trust and transparency on the greater org culture.

I hear from leaders, Millennial/ Gen Z employees, and other workplace strategists: this is going to continue to be a divide in understanding until leadership tips to the next generations. Everyone wants flexibility for themselves, but leaders have a hard time reconciling the ways they came up through orgs and the native digital fluency that makes remote work easy and possible (and even extra profitable); never mind actually making change especially at large orgs in more traditional industries like finance.

Specifically: If you're not alone and there are a lot of people who would like to be formally remote, that may be something for leadership to consider, but unlikely to turn into change in the short term. I think they are being clear with you about the policy and it's up to you to decide if this org/industry fits with your lifestyle, instead of trying to force yours onto their operating model.

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

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🚨 ON YOUR RADAR

🎧 STILL wondering if HR deserves a seat at the table? Ana King, CPO at SAPI, joins me to make it crystal clear: we’re not just in the room, we’re shaping the agenda. If your exec team hasn’t caught on yet, this episode is the wake-up call. Check it out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

⚙️ If your tech stack has you duct-taping systems together and hoping payroll runs on time, this one’s for you! The next HR Therapy is basically group therapy for clunky tools: expect stories, survival tips, and a reality check on whether to fix or finally pull the plug. Come for the venting, leave with a game plan.

🤔 Is your TA team leading, or lagging? Rival’s free eBook shows why only 5% of orgs are truly best-in-class and how you can stop hiring reactively. Quick read, practical tips, and a roadmap to turn your TA function into a well-oiled machine!

 ♥️ From ‘I Hate it Here’ to ‘I Love it Here’: Your Culture Transformation Roadmap. HR can influence culture change in any organization, and this course teaches you how. Join the Safe Space community to access it!

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📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK

Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic.

Is your environment toxic... well read more to find out! Check it out HERE ⬇️

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FRIDAY FUN

😂 the vibes when I say FriYAYCopy anchor linkCopied

IT'S BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE 

FALL IS AROUND THE CORNER 

I AM CLOSING MY LAPTOP AND LIVING LIFE. 

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That's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed! If you have any thoughts, please let me know. I'm allll ears.

Reminder: Today is FRIDAY. 🙏