Hellllooo from your fave HR person who is on the cusp of a long weekend and cannot muster the courage or energy to be at all entertaining this AM. 

JUST KIDDING!!!! 

I always have energy to be a menace in your inbox. 🫶🏽

Another week of putting out fires, preventing new ones, and wondering if we will ever live in precedented times. 

How bout you? How do you really feel?!

I have zero chill when it comes to small talk. I want your secrets!!

Like, do you have a burning HR confession to get off your chest??

Or, maybe a manager horror story to top all horror stories??

DO TELL!!!!!

On the note of spicy things... 

Today’s Q&A is a spicy mix of ‘WTF’ and ‘How do I get respect (and maybe a budget) around here?’

Unclench that jaw, release the tension and remember we're so close the weekend. 

Let's begin!

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ASK AWAY

💫 drama & resourcesCopy anchor linkCopied

✍🏾 When should I bring up drama and shit talking to my manager? We have employees that loudly and openly talk about others, including using curse words to describe them. Our one HR person has been in on these trash talk conversations and (seemingly) did not shut them down.

Context: Small state agency with 30 employees, about 12 that office in person at any time. Smaller department of 6 with many catty interpersonal conflicts and instances of crashing out over perceived slights without addressing them directly. Manager doesn't like "drama" but does not openly address it. 

📣 Kim Simons, CFO @ Workhouse Arts Foundation:

Some offices seem to thrive on gossip and don't realize how much it undermines productivity and workplace satisfaction. I'm not sure when this whole mean girl thing began, but it's past time for it to end.

I would suggest you speak with your manager about it immediately. Bring notes – as in who said what and when and who participated. Trying to protect someone's identity won't help. Use the word bullying to describe their behavior as gossiping like you described is bullying.

Ultimately, the only way to stop bullying is to confront it. You can't control how others behave but you can control how you respond to their behavior. If your manager fails to do anything, then it is up to you to confront it. Preparing to do so in advance can help reduce the stress of confronting them. Let's Grow Leaders has a series on "Powerful Phrases for Dealing with a Workplace Bully.” Some of their suggestions include saying: "This isn't OK." or "Is this how we're going to work together?" or "I feel uncomfortable with your behavior / this conversation."

HR should be an advocate in ending this type of toxic behavior, but it sounds like they're playing along. I'm sorry you're going through this.

📣 Courtney Romo, HR Director @ HVMG:

I think it's time for a shut it down conversation with a higher up HR. Yes, everyone loves a good vent session but those should be behind closed doors and not with HR participation. So, higher up HR needs to come in and shut it down. 

Sit everyone down and say enough is enough. They are all grown people and will be held accountable for what they are saying. Starting on meeting date, these are expectations of the office and the office culture and those who cannot follow the rules will have disciplinary actions taken. 

Also this is a good opportunity for some culture training on what you want your office culture to be and what you don't want it to be. HR and leadership need to lead by example.

📣 Kimberly Brady, HR Coordinator @ HopeTree Family Services:

Great question, and thank you for bringing this up, because workplace drama and gossip can quietly erode a team if it’s not addressed, especially in smaller environments.

It’s tough, especially when even HR seems to be participating instead of setting boundaries. While no workplace is totally free of interpersonal tension, here are a few steps I'd recommend:

Document specific incidents: Note the dates, times, people involved, what was said, and how it made you (or others) feel. Keeping things factual and objective can help shift the conversation from “drama” to “patterned behavior that’s impacting morale.”

Bring it to your manager with care: Frame the conversation around team well-being rather than pointing fingers. Try something like: I wanted to share something that’s been affecting my ability to focus and feel comfortable at work…

Let them know this isn’t about gossip, it’s about how the culture is affecting collaboration, trust, and psychological safety.

If needed, ask to remain anonymous: In a small office, anonymity is tricky, but you can ask your manager to treat the conversation with discretion. If you fear retaliation or if HR is involved in the behavior, it’s okay to document that interaction too. In more serious cases, you may even be protected under whistleblower laws.

Suggest a culture reset: Propose a team-wide meeting to reinforce expectations, things like respect, professionalism, and communication norms. This shifts the focus from blaming individuals to rebuilding a healthier culture together.

These are complex situations, but silence tends to feed toxicity. Even if your manager doesn’t love “drama,” they’re still responsible for maintaining a respectful workplace. :)

✍🏾 How do I get more resources in People Ops or the HR Tech Stack? I already know I need to provide examples of value, what I don't have are examples of how to do that or where it has been successful. How do you calculate ROI on a better HRIS/Comp Tooling/etc.  Lower turnover...maybe but this is super qualitative and lagging.

Context: +700 EEs, Tech, MultiNational, high double digit revenue and HC growth TA, OD or L&D get the praise and dollars and are often the path to VP/CPO roles. People Ops isn't sexy but without it, nothing works. Failure to understand this is a massive hidden tax on the rest of the organization.  We are the step children (ops) of the step children (HR). TA can point to supporting Revenue or Product Growth, OD/L&D can point to flashy presentations that may/may not drive impact, PBPs are in leader's meetings... Ops is all below the water line.

📣 Keelee Johns, Project Manager, People & Culture @ Syner-G BioPharma Group:

First of all – I'm sorry you are feeling under valued at your company. Our HRIS person is incredibly valuable to our team. She is behind the scenes but she's what keeps everyone else afloat. I hope you can get everyone else to see the value you add to the organization.

To me, ROI is time and end user experience.

Can you show that your time invested into doing the comp analyses or other work needed would be let's say "cut in half" with a new tool and what you could use that time to do otherwise to add value to the team. Are there initiatives that your team can support that maybe have been pushed off because no one has the time?

Are you tracking troubleshooting from the end users? How much time is your team spending answering questions from folks who are confused? Is there a way to prove that the value add with a better end user experience is worth the cost?

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

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🚨 ON YOUR RADAR

🎧 I Hate It Here Podcast: I'm always dropping new episodes with your favorite People Ops leaders! Check it out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

✏️ Career Navigation Mastery Studio: Be Seen: A Free Career Conversation. Sondra Norris is running a session on visibility and recognition! 

🤝🏽 ADA Accommodations Audit & Checklist: My friends at Disclo provided this great checklist to assess your current accommodations and make sure you're not missing anything!

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📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK

Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic.

This week’s resource is a true community effort. Safe Spacers put together a sheet of their favorite HR tech tools that they’re using for payroll, performance reviews, recognition, compliance, and more! Check it out HERE  ⬇️

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FRIDAY FUN

❤️ HR APPRECIATION Copy anchor linkCopied

I mean... the image kinda says it all??

✨ HAPPY HR APPRECIATION WEEK ✨

Technically, it was a holiday one day this week but I turned it into an entire week dedicated to you! BECAUSE U DESERVE IT.  

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That's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed! If you have any thoughts, please let me know. I'm allll ears.

Reminder: Today is FRIDAY. 🙏