feedback? never heard of her
Happy Friday!!!! We made it.
I hope your week wasn't total chaos.
We're soooo close to 48 glorious hours of pretending work doesn’t exist… If you need me i'll be going to a concert and a wellness festival!
This weekend is packed but you better believe I'm still making time for some rest, and you should too!
❤️ You deserve some rest (and maybe some chaotic reality TV—my fave)!
This week’s Q&A is for the leaders staring at engagement survey results like “WTAF” and the employees playing 20 Questions just to get one piece of feedback. 😒
First: When over half your team would rather set themselves on fire than work in your office, it’s not a "morale issue," it’s a full-blown cultural catastrophe! Let’s diagnose the rot.
Second: If your manager’s feedback lacks sustenance, it’s time to force the conversation. And no, "Do you have any notes for me?" doesn’t count—try some nuclear options instead.
So buckle up, buttercups, because we’re going in!
ASK AWAY
🤨 attitudes & feedbackCopy anchor linkCopied
✍🏾 How do you control the attitudes in the workplace when over half of your staff members say, I HATE WORKING HERE
Context: N/A
📣 Karen Wood, Human Resource Department Manager @ United Consulting:
Hi friend,
I feel you. That's a frustrating environment to work in to say the least. In my experience of dealing with these kinds of people (poor attitudes, complaining about everything, blaming others, no accountability, etc.), I've tried multiple tactics. Avoidance. Blaming others for their attitude. Self-righteousness. Full-on resentment for the environment they are creating. It's all their fault. Not mine.
And you know what. None of that helped. What did help was understanding that we cannot control the behaviors of others. We can't control their attitudes or what comes out of their mouths. BUT we can control our thoughts, our actions, and response to them.
You have to let go of all that frustration, anger, and resentment (clean up your side of the street by becoming self-aware of your attitude towards them), so you can clearly see them. Have compassion for them. Everyone has so much going on in their lives and may not even see the impact they are having at work on other people. We need to have empathy for these people. They may be going through difficult personal issues/insecurities manifesting into projection/lacking empathy and self-awareness/not taking care of themselves physically, emotionally, and mentally. The list goes on.
When you approach these people, you just shine your light on them. Show up with curiosity and compassion, being grateful for something they did on a project (be genuine), and provide them space to be themselves. Let them, as Mel Robbins says in her book The Let Them Theory. Let them be who they are, expressing how much they hate it at work. Ask, lean in. What would make it better? You don't have to fix anything. Just listen. And offer empathy. But you have to protect your boundaries, your energy. You need to check yourself to see if you are in a good headspace before providing this space for others. If you need a minute, ask for it, and then talk to them. Postpone the meeting if you can.
Our energy is contagious. Smiles, yawns. Our brain waves are actually trying to mirror one other. If you protect your energy (bubble up), then you won't catch their negativity, they may catch your compassionate presence. We have the power of influence on others, but we can't expect them to change. It doesn't work that way. When we shine our light, it's a gift and others can do what they want with it.
Some reading materials that helped me immensely:
Amy Gallo's "Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (even Difficult People)
Mel Robbins's The Let Them Theory
Anese Cavanaugh's Contagious You
Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People
Also, if interested, I co-presented at an engineering conference in March 2025 on dealing with difficult people at work. Here is the link to that presentation.
Good luck! Shine your light!
📣 Kaylee Tanner, Director of Human Resources @ Trace Genomics:
So sorry you're dealing with this – it's hard. I would start with a shift in approach – you cannot control attitudes. It's not in your control (or anyone besides each individual). And keep in mind that just the fact that they are saying this means they are open to change – otherwise, you wouldn't be hearing it.
I would start with lots and lots of listening. Ask Why one hundred times. And once they tell you why, ask why at least three more times to get to the deeper issues. Then you know what is driving this and have something to action.... and you can sort out what's in the company's control, and what is in each individual person's control.
I've actually experienced a company where that was enough to change some attitudes. People want to feel heard. If there are some small things that can be changed at the company level (think low-hanging fruit and tiny wins), do it... it reinforces that the company cares and that they heard the feedback. Sometimes it's the tiny things that can make the difference.
📣 Jenna Fisch, Talent Development Manager @ Educe:
I agree with many of the points made below – while you can’t control someone’s attitude, you can ask how you can support them. Where I would take it a step further is by acting on what you hear. Here’s an approach I would suggest:
Ask: Find out how your employees are feeling, whether through an engagement survey, 1:1 conversations, or another method.
Share: Be open and transparent about the feedback you received. You can also bring in external industry benchmarks to show where you’re doing well and where there’s room for improvement.
Plan: Clearly communicate what actions you’re taking based on what you heard. Assign clear owners of action items and update your employees on your progress regularly.
You won’t be able to address everything right away, but by following this approach, you show that you care about employee feedback, you're willing to be transparent, and you're committed to taking action. An added bonus is they will feel more comfortable sharing company feedback in the future.
This should be a continuous cycle, repeated year after year. Your people are your greatest asset – their experiences and feelings matter, and how you support them makes a real difference.
Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.
✍🏾 I am struggling to get my manager to provide me with any feedback (let alone, actionable feedback). How do I initiate these exchanges in our 1:1s? Note: asking if they have any feedback for me has not worked thus far.
Context: Food/Bev CPG industry, transitioning from startup to enterprise (around 2500 employees across the globe). Currently experiencing a mass employee exodus following the sale of one of our brands (in combination with general cultural upset regarding difficulty with raises and promotions across the board).
📣 Nance Hodges, Director, Talent @ Fraym:
It's always so tough when the people who are supposed to help us grow and develop either refuse to help, or more often, don't know how to help! It's great that you're taking your growth and development into your own hands, so don't be discouraged.
One thing I'd do is be specific in your request. Chances are, you know some part of your work that isn't ideal or could be improved. So, reflect on what areas of your work you are looking to get feedback on and start asking questions about those components. Sometimes people need a little bit of assistance in what topic to provide feedback on. They may see you generally performing well, and think that you're doing great… but aren't necessarily thinking of room for improvement in specific areas.
For example, if I want feedback on the onboarding process I redeveloped, I have to ask:
"What are your thoughts on the new onboarding process, and how could it improve?"
Or if I need feedback on recent presentation, I may have to ask:
"After participating in my last training/presentation, what feedback could you offer to help me improve my XYZ skills (presentation skills, communication, etc..) "
You could even ask for feedback to help solve a particular challenge, like the one you mentioned above:
"As you know, our culture and morale have taken a bit of a hit with the recent acquisition. In your opinion, what can I do better as a leader to support my team here?"
By asking specific questions, they may even get more comfortable giving you the feedback you desire, and you may not have to always be so specific.
Also, don't be afraid to seek feedback from your peers and colleagues. While your manager is important to your growth and development, they're only one person. By seeking input from people you work with closely, you'll get actionable feedback and improve your work relationships to help each other grow and develop.
📣 Mikki Forbes, COO @ Forbes Consulting, LLC:
This is a tough spot, but not uncommon, especially in high-growth transitions like yours. If directly asking for feedback isn’t working, try shifting the frame. Instead of “Do you have feedback for me?” ask more targeted, forward-looking questions like:
“What would success look like for me in the next 30 days?”
“Is there anything I should be doing more of – or less of – to better support the team during this transition?”
“Can you walk me through how you’d approach [insert a current challenge you’re facing]?”
These prompts are less likely to put your manager on the spot and more likely to yield actionable insights.
Also, consider sharing a brief self-assessment during your 1:1 to model the type of feedback you’re hoping to receive. For example:
“I’ve noticed I’ve been slower on cross-functional handoffs lately and am working on tightening that up. Have you seen anything similar or different?”
In uncertain environments, feedback avoidance can be a symptom of leadership burnout, culture instability, or even lack of training.
You could also try emailing an agenda prior to the meetings of things you want to cover (e.g., your development).
📣 Andrea Collins, Senior Manager, People Operations @ Caraway Home:
My manager and I started an initiative that we call Feedback Friday, it starts with self reflection and then moves into feedback for each other. We also use this time sometimes to get outside and take a walk so we aren't chained to our desks – would 100% recommend starting with a phone call to build the muscle of giving feedback since it can be ~uncomfy~ to share sometimes.
Here's our prompts:
Self Reflection shared with each other:
What do you think you did well this week?
What was tough or challenging this week?
Cup Filling:
What filled up your cup this week?
What emptied your cup this week?
Feedback with each other:
One thing praise or positive
One thing constructive, developmental, or micro change/ask
Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.
🚨 ON YOUR RADAR
🎧 I Hate It Here Podcast: Fairness at work is a myth, and Zach Nunn is here to kick off our new podcast season and expose it! Listen to us tear apart remote work hypocrisy, rigged performance reviews, and why not all “inclusive” policies are inclusive.
❤️ Sergio Peña dropped an awesome piece on The Unspoken Reality of Starting a New Job as an HR Professional in the Safe Space Library. It’s a great, honest read for anyone going through a job transition.
📺 HR Gamechangers: Safe Spacers Sarika, Halai and I get together for another banger of a panel to discuss AI's impact on HR.
📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK
Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic.
This week’s resource is a template you can share with your managers so they can lead regular 1:1 feedback sessions with their direct reports. Check it out HERE ⬇️
FRIDAY FUN
👎 um how about no?Copy anchor linkCopied
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Listen... I really really really hate when people say this.
I'm used to HR being resource constrained and not getting the help, budget, or attention we deserve! I'm intimately acquainted with operate with nothing but make something happen.
I just wanna say ITS OKAY to just do what you can with what you got. Doing more with less honestly causes more harm than good.
That's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed! If you have any thoughts, please let me know. I'm allll ears.
Reminder: Today is FRIDAY. 🙏
