fighting over green peppers
Hi ya party people,
Happy Friday! Currently waiting for my caffeine to kick in and monologuing in my head so I can survive this day! 😅
In the meantime, let’s jump right into Q&A, shall we?
This week, we've got an employee with a food allergy who wants the entire office to ban a vegetable from the building, despite not being there every day and working in the corner farthest from the kitchen.
Reasonable accommodation or absolutely unhinged??
Then, we're tackling the soul-crushing reality of what happens when YOUR boss is the toxic one and they're completely untouchable because they're family to the ownership.
There's no easy answer, but the wonderful Safe Space community has plenty of hard-earned wisdom to share with the rest of the class.
Let’s discuss!
P.S. Loving the question submissions BTW! KEEP EM COMING! Submit yours here for a chance to be featured in the newsletter.
ASK AWAY
🤧 allergies & bossesCopy anchor linkCopied
✍🏾 What is HR's responsibility for an employee with a food allergy?
Context: I have an employee who is allergic to green peppers and expects everyone in our office to not bring any into the building and complains bitterly when it happens. To further complicate matters she does not work physically in the office every day so she may or may not be in the office on any given day and the general staff doesn't know her schedule. About 35 people on staff in a one level building. She has an office near an exit door on the absolute farthest corner from the kitchen/lunch room.
📣 Maria Finley, Employee Experience Specialist @ Desmone:
I've not had a similar situation where an employee has been so insistent on their expectations, but I have had employees with allergies whether it was to a certain food or even gluten.
Some things that I implemented to be compassionate and accommodating:
-Encouraged but not mandated that employees wiped down lunchroom surfaces after use
-Asked to notify HR or a manager in advance of days the employee will be onsite if additional precautions are needed so that we were not guessing at their schedule
-Allowed flexible scheduling or workdays
-If there was a food event or potluck, made sure all ingredients were listed so that people knew what ingredients they were consuming and could make informed decisions
-Allowed or encouraged the employee to use an air purifier or kept one in the lunchroom to be used
I think it's HRs responsibility to take the allergy seriously and provide reasonable accommodation and exposure where feasible, but I also think it's HRs responsibility to ensure that undue burden isn't put on the other employees that work there as well. It's definitely a balancing act.
Additionally, it's also our responsibility to set expectations and make it clear that accommodations are managed by HR, not enforced by the employee, and that confrontational or disruptive behavior is not acceptable. Then, as always, it's our responsibility to record the accommodations taken, conversations had, and behavioral expectations set to protect the company and maintain clarity and consistency.
📣 Tammi Burnett, Director of People and Culture @ Rainforest National Network:
I think some investigation is warranted. Is her allergy airborne, meaning she will get sick if anyone near her has green peppers and she accidentally inhales particles? Or is it only if she consumes them? How strong is the reaction - will a tiny amount cause anaphylaxis, or would she need to be exposed to huge amounts?
Once you know these answers, you can proceed accordingly. This is no different than any other reasonable accommodation interactive process.
📣 Shabrea McNear, HRIS Benefits Manager @ Anomatic Corporation:
I actually put a very strongly worded reply into ChatGPT and asked it summarize professionally:
HR must provide reasonable accommodation, not ban a food from the entire office. A building-wide green pepper ban is not reasonable, especially with 35 staff and an employee who isn’t onsite daily.
HR’s responsibility:
- Engage in the interactive process
- Request medical documentation if the allergy requires extreme measures
- Offer targeted accommodations (office location, cleaning, remote work if exposure occurs)
HR is not required to:
- Police employee lunches
- Track her unpredictable schedule
- Restrict everyone else’s food choices
If mere presence of green peppers in the building is dangerous, the appropriate accommodation is remote work or personal mitigation, not collective restriction. Complaints should go through HR, not coworkers.
Bottom line: accommodate the employee—not the demand.
Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.
✍🏾 Toxic Bosses: How do you navigate if you are the head of HR and YOUR boss is the toxic one and 100% protected by ownership?
Context: Manufacturing, family owned.
📣 Pooja Samuel, Founder @ Colere:
First, I'm so sorry you're in this position; dealing with a toxic leader can really mess with your mental and physical health.
When I’ve been in this situation, taking action, even if it’s small, has helped me feel less stuck. That usually starts with keeping receipts; notes, screenshots, or written examples of behavior that crossed a line. I also try to share feedback in ways that feel safest to me; that’s often in writing. I keep it focused on impact and specific behaviors, not intent or personality. I like the EEC model, but SBI is popular as well.
I’ve also learned the value of strength in numbers. If the same issues are coming up for multiple leaders, sharing that feedback anonymized can help show that this isn’t just your perspective or experience. I've gathered this feedback through listening tours or upward reviews as part of performance reviews.
And just as important, be real with yourself about what’s actually in your control. If your boss isn’t willing to change, your job may shift from fixing the situation to protecting yourself, your team, and your integrity. Sometimes you have to admit that nothing is actually going to change and start thinking about what you need to do to take care of yourself.
📣 Nalini Mani, Organization Transformation Advisor:
In a family-owned manufacturing business where HR reports to a toxic, protected leader, the best initial strategy is to document impact-driven evidence and propose solutions tied to business outcomes…while also creating safe feedback channels for employees. If ownership is unreceptive, HR may need to prioritize personal well-being and exit, but workforce-wide feedback mechanisms can still help surface systemic issues.
Strategic Options to try…with Owners
- Document and Present Impact Without Blame
Frame issues around business metrics: Use data on turnover, absenteeism, productivity, and morale to show how leadership behavior affects performance.
Avoid personal accusations: Focus on patterns and outcomes, not personalities.
Propose solutions: Suggest leadership coaching, clearer communication protocols, or team-building initiatives. - Engage Ownership with Business-Centric Language
Emphasize risk to bottom line: Highlight how toxic leadership increases attrition and damages reputation.
Use case studies or benchmarks from similar companies to show how addressing leadership issues improves outcomes.
Offer confidential employee feedback summaries to show broader impact. - Create Safe Feedback Channels for Employees
Launch anonymous surveys, suggestion boxes, or third-party reporting tools.
Host facilitated feedback sessions or town halls with neutral moderators.
Use 360-degree reviews to assess leadership behavior from multiple angles. -
If Change Is Blocked, Consider Exit Strategy
If ownership refuses to acknowledge or act, HR may need to prioritize personal well-being.
Before leaving, HR can empower employees with tools for collective feedback or escalation. -
Empower the Workforce
Encourage peer-led culture committees or employee resource groups.
Facilitate training on respectful workplace norms and conflict resolution.
If safe, support collective action, e.g., group feedback to ownership or external mediation.
Risks and Considerations
Retaliation from toxic leader - Use anonymous channels and third-party tools
Ownership denial or defensiveness - Frame issues in terms of business impact, not blame
HR burnout or isolation - Build internal allies, seek external support, consider exit if needed
📣 Karen Wood, HR Department Manager @ United Consulting:
Moving on may be the best path to take. However, while you are still there, here are a few reading tips: Amy Gallo's Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People); this book helped me with a previous toxic boss, learning what was in my control, setting boundaries and how I approached our conversations that protected my energy and peace (spoiler alert: they worked!). And then The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher, he gave practical phrases to use, by changing how you communicate with others.
Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.
🚨 ON YOUR RADAR
🎧 Did everything “right” at work…and still feel empty? I talked with Ayanna Kelly about grieving the career we thought we’d have and redefining success beyond job titles. Check it out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!
🧠 Think hiring is stable in 2026? eSkill says applications are piling up, timelines are dragging, and recruiters are leaning harder on AI and skills-based hiring to keep up! Their 6 Hiring Predictions for 2026 covers what’s really happening under the surface.*
💸 Cut costs…but also take care of everyone. Easy, right? In this month’s HR Therapy, we’re getting honest about budget pressure, headcount trade-offs, and surviving the decisions no one wants to own.
💰 Pay Transparency matters (but it's also difficult). That's why I created this course. Join the Safe Space community to access it, plus everything else you need to stay ahead of the curve.
*This one is brought to you by one of my amazing brand partners
📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK
Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic.
This week, we’ve got another template! Check it out HERE ⬇️
FRIDAY FUN
😩 honestly?? It's been a long week...Copy anchor linkCopied
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After a particularly intense meeting, I need to take a break!!!!
Here's what I do:
1. Get up and physically leave my space / my computer
2. Pick my favorite song
3. Dance around the room and feel the negative energy leave my body.
4. Repeat after the next intense meeting
Before you know it, you won't be having the reaction above to every meeting!!!
That's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed! If you have any thoughts, please let me know. I'm allll ears.
Reminder: Today is FRIDAY. 🙏
