I Hate It Here

PTO meltdowns & ERG drama

Hebba Youssef · JUL 25

Hi ya party people,

Congratulations on surviving another week of adulting! 🥳

It’s Friday, it feels like 1000°F outside, and I’m currently fantasizing about AC and naps.

It’s also time for your favorite part of the morning: the “please tell me I’m not the only one dealing with this” Q&A!

This week, we’ve got one HR leader trying to balance compassion and consequences when employees take more than their fair share of PTO, and the idea of revoking benefits is on the table (which is not a thing BTW).

And another reader is navigating affinity groups at a small nonprofit, basically wondering, “are these even HR-approved? Or just a well-intentioned way to create drama in the group chat?”

Let the discussions begin!

Oh, and I would love it if you submitted a question here. It just might get featured in a future edition! 🫶

But if you don't have burning questions, maybe you have a burning confession. Enter the HR confession booth and let it rippp.


ASK AWAY

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✍🏽 A few employees this month have taken a combination of PTO and unexcused absences that exceeds what is allowed/allotted. What can the company act upon as a consequence to the employee for not coming to work? Would you consider revoking medical benefits as an appropriate option?

Context:
We are a small family-run company in California with less than 75 people within 2 locations. We do need to be careful about our steps towards any discipline. We do not want to lose team members, finding their skill set is incredibly hard in our industry, we do not want anyone going to the competitor (because there are only 4 places locally like us).  Finding a balance between being stern about policies and setting them up for success is challenging. Culturally our company has allowed in some years excessive absenteeism. The rise in monthly medical is becoming rather challenging for the company to afford. We do not have a work from home policy as our line of work is based on what a team member produces, time and materials. Essentially we are a boat service repair shop, you cannot take a boat home to work on.

📣 Maleea Meden, HR Director @ World Centric:

To answer the first question: No, you should not use medical benefits as a method of punishment for absenteeism, for too many reasons to list here. I understand how difficult absenteeism can be on a business, and how enforcing policies is very difficult when you can't really enforce them because you also need the employees.

I believe in carrots over sticks. Creating a team or individual incentives for attendance can be effective. You could have the team set a realistic target for unplanned absences and agree on what would be a motivating reward. e.g. pizza Friday for a perfect week. Individual incentives could include bonuses at the end of a quarter/year for zero unplanned absences. I know some don't like these because the reality is absences are a result of life simply happening, and fall disproportionately on women or primary caregivers. CA has a protection for almost any type of leave you can imagine so I find unplanned absences that aren't legally protected to fall in the preventable category, and worthy of incentivizing.

I would also ask some of your most reliable employees what they think can be done, and see if they have ideas. Are there consistent reasons? If so, find a way to work around those reasons. e.g. if it's always Monday, can you re-work the schedule so it's acceptable to come in later on Mondays? Alternatively, you may find that you just need to hire more staff to accommodate the reality.

📣 Rosetta Williams, Sr. Director, People Talent & Culture @ Immigrant Justice Corp:

Revoking or threatening to revoke medical benefits as a disciplinary measure is not appropriate and could be seen as retaliation or constructive dismissal, especially in California. It may also violate ERISA or ACA regulations depending on how your benefits are structured.

Absences that fall under protected leave laws, such as FMLA/CFRA, CA Paid Sick Leave or Pregnancy Disability Leave, an employee cannot be disciplined for and any disciplinary action would be considered unlawful.

You can however discipline for unprotected or unexcused absences. However, you must:

  • Consistently apply discipline across employees
  • the action should be well-documented
  • discipline must be proportional to the behavior.

You may want to reset expectations and update your attendance policy to inform of consequences of unexcused absences. I would suggest a progressive discipline such as verbal, written, final, suspension or termination. You may also want to put thresholds around absences such as 3 unexcused absences in a rolling 90-day period may result in disciplinary action, or patterns of absenteeism may be reviewed (e.g. frequent Mondays/Fridays off).

Lastly, you may want to implement incentives for reliability by introducing a recognition for excellent attendance with monthly gift card drawings and an annual award for perfect attendance.

I hope this is helpful!

 📣 Therese Sylvie Diatta, People Operations Specialist:

I wouldn’t recommend revoking medical benefits, those are part of what employees have earned and in many cases protected by law. A better approach would be to put a clear and realistic sick leave policy in place, maybe around 10 paid sick days per year.

For any medical absence lasting more than three consecutive days, I’d require a doctor’s note to count it as excused. As for unexcused absences, I’d handle those through a progressive discipline process.

It might also be a good idea to sit down with the team and go over the attendance policy again. Let them know how much unplanned absences affect the whole business and give them a chance to share if there’s something going on that the company can help with. That way you’re holding people accountable, but also showing that you care and want them to succeed here. Encourage open dialogue.


Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

✍🏽 What are your thoughts on affinity groups/ERGs? Are they "HR approved"? I feel like it can easily get dicey...


Context:
Small non-profit. Recently our DE&I group has brought in the thought of affinity groups and HR thought there could be possible red flags...

📣 Margaret Spencer, General Manager @ Unexpected Tours and Training:

I'd be curious what the HR says the red flags are. ERGs/affinity groups can be powerful tools for belonging and employee engagement.

Possible red flags (and how to get around them) might be:

1. ERG activities feel disconnected from the company’s mission or strategic priorities.

What to do: Ensure ERGs have clear objectives that align with strategy and business goals.

2. Groups unintentionally become exclusionary or siloed.

What to do: Promote allyship and open membership to all employees while honoring the space for underrepresented voices.

3. No formal charter, funding, or executive sponsorship for ERGs.

Establish ERG governance models with budgets, clear roles, and executive sponsorship.

4. No tracking of ERG outcomes, participation, or influence on business metrics.

What to do: Use surveys, retention data, and engagement scores to measure effectiveness and impact of ERG initiatives.


5. ERG leaders are expected to lead major initiatives without compensation or workload consideration.

What to do: Recognize ERG leadership in performance reviews, consider stipends, and provide support infrastructure.


6. ERG discussions or activities cross into inappropriate or non-inclusive territory.

What to do: Provide training for ERG leaders, monitor activities, and include ERG conduct in the broader DEI or HR policy framework.

In my work, I collaborate with a lot of ERG leaders at companies of all sizes who bring us in to support culture, connection, and growth. Done well, ERGs are one of the most energizing and authentic spaces in a workplace.

If anyone's working through this or thinking about how to get buy-in/support for ERGs, happy to share what's worked well across different orgs. Feel free to DM me, I always love talking shop. 🙂

📣 Suzanne Bassler, Director of HR @ The Gathering:

Hi! HR Dept of 1 from a small non-profit here. I recently dove into this issue myself because I had been feeling the tensions from the women on our staff. I wanted to create time/space for us to all connect and empower each other away from the male leaders we have. 

I agree with Margaret’s statement that affinity groups can be really powerful for subsets of employees, and would be interested to see what concerns they named. Going through it myself, I realized that the main potential issues or red flags were 1)if we limited WHO could have an affinity group and 2)if the funding or other support of the groups varied. 

Hope this helps.

📣 Meerim Ilyas, Head of Inclusion and Organizational Improvement:

I've dealt with this for the last 3 years at my organization, a medium-sized non-profit (130 employees). There is absolutely no one size fits all. Rather than framing it as HR approving ERGs, I have found it more helpful to think about how leadership and HR can support or resource ERGs. In my experience, one would still need to determine who coordinates/holds this process for ERGs (sometimes more like a central point of contact and should not be anyone from HR dept). In my context, we never called our groups ERGs, rather chose an informal and sometimes more fluid structure driven by current needs. That approach reflected our stage of DEI growth – beyond Black History Month programming, more structured DEI efforts were still emerging. I started by designing informal bridge-building and cultural connection events before introducing more formal DEI training. For context, my role was initially not in HR but HR adjacent and I reported directly to the president and worked alongside our CHRO.

If you are in a small nonprofit setting and beginning to think about ERGs or are being approached about one, here are some things to consider:

1) Reflect on size and optics. In an organization of 20 people, how might an identity-based group be perceived? Could the underlying need stem from workplace tensions/conflicts or a deeper need for belonging? Sometimes a less formal structure may meet those needs more effectively.

2) Get creative. Thematic or experience-based groups, such as an interfaith circle, an intergenerational dialogue space, or a menopause wellness group can foster connections in ways that feel more inclusive and serve a wider scope of goals.

3) Talk to leadership & do some background work. If identity-based groups are forming (LGBTQ+, Black employees, women, etc.), engage leadership in understanding what's driving the interest. Is it a desire for mutual support, celebration, or programming? Or is it a response to deeper issues like exclusion or bias? If it's the latter, an ERG alone will not resolve those concerns.

Ultimately, I would not frame this as employees needing "approval" to organize, but in today's climate including shifting EEOC guidance and legal scrutiny, it is essential to avoid creating the appearance of closed or exclusive groups. Make sure any structure is formally open to allies and reflects your organization's overall risk landscape, i.e., what is the likelihood of getting scrutinized externally.

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.


🚨 ON YOUR RADAR

🎧 HR folks aren't just burned out, they're actively on fire! In the latest podcast episode, I sat down with Eva Bak to unpack the emotional labor, offboarding trauma, and the toll of being a therapist, a compliance cop, and a corporate martyr. We're starting the new podcast season off hot! Check it out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

😃 Employer brand 101: My friends at Teamtailor put together this killer guide to show you how to build an employer brand that sounds human, unique to you, and worth applying to! It's packed with tips that you gotta hear. If your employer brand needs some work or your worried your giving candidates the ick, this guide is a must read. 

🤖 How will AI impact learning at your company? Buckle up because Safe Spacers Ciara, Kailey and I get into it next week (7/30 at 1PM) and talk about how to think about guiding our orgs during these AI-intense times and how to shape your L&D to be future proof. 

📣 These are my confessions: have something you need to get off your chest about working in HR? Submit your confession and LET IT RIP. 


📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK

Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic.


This week’s resource is for anyone seeking best practices to build a sustainable foundation for inclusion and belonging within your org. Whether you’re looking to initiate your first DEI program or enhance existing efforts, check out Amanda Woodard’s Inclusion & Belonging Roadmap HERE ⬇️


FRIDAY FUN

🙄 Excusez-moi???Copy anchor linkCopied

The answer would be NO, we *don't* have budget for that!!!!!!!!!

When the CFO <> CPO alignment is in lockstep magic can really happen. Like stopping folks from throwing bodies at a problem or spending on a ridiculous new tool that adds zero value. 

I've learned a lot from working closely with CFOs but LET THE RECORD SHOW:

✨ HR should not report to finance. ✨

It's an interest clash waiting to happen. 


That's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed! If you have any thoughts, please let me know. I'm allll ears.

Reminder: Today is FRIDAY. 

By Hebba Youssef

I Hate It Here

A safe space for jaded, overworked and emotionally burned out HR/People Operations professionals who need a little inspiration to tackle the newest dumpster fire of the week.