what’s the first rule of HR?
Howdy y’all,
Q1 is officially off to the races. Honestly, I might need a do-over already because last week was hectic.
IDK if everyone came back from break with a fire but whoa it was a weeeeek. If you had a week like mine, I’m sending you allllll the good vibes.
If you need something to brighten up your day…
🎧 The I Hate it Here pod is back with Jessica Winder on the mic!! We talk Ins/Outs of HR in 2026 and this episode made me laugh so so so hard. I hope you can channel our chaotic good energy to make it through your work.
Today’s newsletter is hot hot hot off the presses. 🔥
The rules of HR? We’re rewriting them in real time. LET’S GOOO.
FUTURE
The first rule of HR is: Copy anchor linkCopied
You don’t talk about HR?? Okay okay, that joke is tried I get it. Also it's absolutely not true for this newsletter because allll I want to do is talk about HR!! :)
On the note of things I won’t stop talking about is how much this job really feels like it’s changed in the last few years.
It’s evolved, shifted, and changed its way into something so much more than what it has been.
In ways that feel obvious when you’re in the thick of it, but strangely hard to explain without sounding too dramatic.
✨ Lucky for you, I have a flair for the dramatics. ✨
If you’ve had that quiet thought of “this is not the job I accepted”, you’re not alone!!!
The rules changed. The game (work) has changed. And no one really stopped to explain what the new set of rules are...
So let me try?
And when I say rules, I don’t mean policies or handbooks.
I mean:
- What HR is implicitly responsible for now
- What success actually looks like (even if no one says it out loud)
- What we’re expected to absorb either emotionally, operationally, or politically
- And what happens when things go sideways
✍🏼 These rules aren’t written anywhere. Maybe they should be???
Because they’re quietly shaping your workload, your stress level, and even your Sunday scaries...
So here are a few of the NEW rules of HR I’ve been thinking about.
Rule #1:Copy anchor linkCopied
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Rule #1: The operating conditions of HR have changed.
Most of us were trained for a version of HR that built around stability.
We dealt with:
- Clear roles / career paths
- Predictable growth
- Leaders who decided things
- Systems that (usually) worked
You know, and I know that’s not the world we’re in anymore.
Today’s HR job is less about designing systems and more about holding them together while they’re actively being stress-tested by things like layoffs, AI, politics, burnout, and constant change.
If you feel like you’re always reacting instead of building, that’s not because you’re bad at the job.
It’s because the job became a different one.
So how do we deal with this?
If the operating conditions of HR have changed, then the way we work has to change too!!
And I don’t mean to “learn to cope better”, I mean we need a new default way.
4 ways to deal with this:
1️⃣ First, we stop pretending stability is coming back.
In the past, a lot of my personal HR frustration came from waiting for things to “settle down” so that I can FINALLY build the thing, fix the system, or roll out the strategy the right way.
But constant change is the standard now so instead of designing for a perfect environment, HR needs to design things for durability with:
- Fewer one-time processes
- More flexible guardrails
- Clear principles that hold up even when plans change
- Baked in agility
2️⃣ It’s time to shift from long-term certainty to short-term clarity.
TBH: you might not be able to promise your employees or your team a five-year roadmap, maybe not even a 5-week roadmap. But what you can do is give everyone clarity on things like:
- What matters right now
- What decisions have been made
- What’s still outstanding
- And when you’ll revisit things
Don’t forget: Clarity beats certainty every time, especially in unstable times. (Which we are in!)
Double down on clarity in meetings, company comms, and most interactions. Trust me, your team and employees will appreciate it.
3️⃣ It’s time to get clear about what HR owns and what it doesn’t.
When everything is on fire, HR becomes the default catch-all. But that isn’t sustainable…
Deal with the new operating conditions by:
- Saying no to being the emotional buffer for bad leadership
- Naming when an issue is a decision problem, not a people problem
- Resetting expectations around what HR can realistically carry - “Our team does not have the bandwidth of resources to launch that new program at this time.”
4️⃣ Stop measuring ourselves by the outputs that belong to the old rules.
If you’re still judging your effectiveness by how “polished” things look, how perfectly processes run, or how calm everyone feels, you’re setting yourself up to feel like you’re failing.
But you’re not!!! I promise.
In our new reality, good HR isn’t about polish. It’s about:
- Seeing issues earlier
- Adjusting faster with low ego
- Naming what’s actually happening with clear and concise comms
- Building systems that can hold change without collapsing
If you feel like you’re reacting more than building, that doesn’t mean you’re behind!!!
It means you’re working in the reality we’re all in now. More on measuring ourselves next week.
Rule #2:Copy anchor linkCopied
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Rule #2: HR cannot absorb organizational dysfunction.
👀 This one’s uncomfortable, but it needs to be said…
For a long time, HR acted as the buffer between leadership decisions and employee impact.
We translated.
We softened.
We smoothed things over.
We protected.
And in that role we often absorbed and even disguised organizational dysfunction.
But employees are vocal, now more than ever, about how they don’t want spin, they want real transparency.
If HR keeps getting stuck in the middle and asked to explain decisions we didn’t make or stand behind calls that weren’t fully thought through, employees will see through the spin.
Spoiler alert: employees already know where the dysfunction actually lives. They know HR sometimes isn’t the decision-maker, instead often the messenger.
So the new rule is this: HR isn’t there to absorb the impact, we are positioned as partners in minimizing fallout from the dysfunction.
We do this by:
- Explaining impact to leaders
- Follow up with honest communication
- Naming wins and misses
- Doubling down on explaining why things are changing, not just that they are.
That’s the difference between HR absorbing dysfunction and instead helping the organization move forward.
Rule #3:Copy anchor linkCopied
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Rule #3: HR is not neutral.
We can’t be neutral between harm and safety.
We can’t be neutral between clarity and chaos.
We can't be neutral when values are being tested in real time.
In the past, HR was taught to stay “objective,” quiet, and balanced.
But HR of the future needs to understand that neutrality, in practice, often just protects power and prolongs dysfunction.
HR’s role isn’t to pick sides emotionally; it’s to advocate for healthy systems, fair process, and real impact.
Even when that makes things uncomfortable!!!
So… now what?Copy anchor linkCopied
Those are 3 rules that are top of mind for me but they’re not the end all, be all.
Because rules will differ depending on your organization, stage, industry and even experience!!
I asked the Safe Space community about additional rules they’re thinking about and they offered:
- “A lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine". In other words, you should have planned ahead, you didn't, and I'm not going to hurt myself to accommodate you.
- Ambiguity always has an owner — and when leadership won’t claim it, HR inherits it.
- No system survives a lack of courage. You can’t change-manage your way out of avoided conversations. You can’t train your way around indecision.
- HR is not a magic eraser for a leader’s lack of a filter.
- If a leader’s feedback isn't in writing, it literally exists only in an alternate dimension where performance improvement is a myth.
- If your RTO mandate requires me to commute to a cubicle and join the same video link I used at home... collaboration isn't the goal — compliance is.
- You cannot policy your way out of a lack of common sense - if you have to write a section of the handbook on why we don't microwave fish in the breakroom, the battle has already been lost.
- HR is the only department where you are expected to be a therapist for the entire org... yet when you need to talk, your only option is to sit in your car with the heat or AC on for 20 minutes!
- As soon as you think "they would never" ...here they come nevering like they never nevered before ;)
- Practice structural honesty. If an HR function only works when I over-promise, over-empathize, or blur structural limits, the function is broken, not the people in it. My job is to clarify constraints, not compensate for them emotionally.
📣 Have a new rule you want to share? Drop in in the convo here!
❤️ Shoutout to: Tammi, Alex, Luke and Nikki who shared their rules above.
What’s next:Copy anchor linkCopied
The rules are changing and so is the definition of what "good HR" looks like.
So next week I want to spend some time on what does good mean and how are we measuring success in these wild times.
Stay tuned!!!
(HUMAN) RESOURCES
- Deadly ICE shooting in Minneapolis
- Fed chair Powell responds to DOJ probe
- Weak December job numbers
- Golden Globes winner list
WORK-LIFE BALANCE
- 📚 What I’m reading: Immortal Consequences by I.V. Marie. This came recommended by Tiktok but I was pulled in by the premise. I love a lil academia number. If you’ve read it please reply and lmk what you think!
- 📺 What I’m watching: Traitors. One of my fave shows is back!!!! Although there are a few people on this cast I genuinely don’t like. It’s fun watching some of my fave love island and housewives though!!
- 🪄 What I’m obsessing over: routines. I’m a fairly unscheduled person outside of my work schedule but something I’m trying more of in 2026 is to get my routine down. Like workouts in the morning, cleaning at night etc. Discipline is the theme of 2026 for me.
SONG OF THE WEEK
🎧 Don’t Think I’m Not, Kandi Copy anchor linkCopied
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Throwback to the 2000s for this jam. It came up on my random shuffle the other day and I was BOPPING to it.
Put this song on and vibe out.
I hope you enjoyed this, please let me know what you think and what other topics you'd love for me to cover. I'm allll ears.
Reminder: Take care of yourself and know that I support you.
