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Surprised to see me in your inbox on a Thursday?! Well, here I am!  

This is a ✨special edition deep dive✨ of I Hate it Here. Every now and then, you may get one of these from me! 👏

This special edition deep dive is sponsored by Ethena. 

What's a deep dive?

Deep dives are opportunities for me to collab with specific companies in the HR/People space on topics of joint interest to them, me, and even you! The sponsoring company provides invaluable input on the topic but this edition itself is written, edited, and published by your fave gal, me! 

Today, I'm discussing how you can command attention by speaking leadership’s language.

Let's get into it!

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HR’s Most Annoying Mystery: Why You Keep Sounding the Alarm No One Hears Copy anchor linkCopied

“Helloooo? Is this thing on?” 🎤

If you work in HR, you’ve felt this.

In fact…some of you are probably dealing with it right now.

There are few feelings worse than watching leadership make the same mistake you warned them about like six months ago. 

You bring the data. You build the deck. You outline the consequences in bold red font for crying out loud!

And yet, somehow, the follow-up meeting starts with something along the lines of “Why didn’t anyone see this coming?”

I DID, I SAW IT COMING!!!!!!!! Screams into a pillow.

HR usually sees EVERYTHING coming. It’s basically our curse. 

We’re the sentient crystal balls of corporate life, destined to predict chaos and watch everyone ignore it until that one leader brings it up. 

And then, when the inevitable happens, like when your top performer leaves, or that “small” cultural issue becomes a gigantic PR nightmare, you’re the one cleaning it up and explaining why you didn’t prevent it.

Sound familiar?! 🙃

I know, it’s easy to assume leadership just doesn’t respect HR, but I don’t think that’s the full picture…  

There’s always more to this story. 

And it's not because you’re bad at your job. Despite half the internet believing HR inherently is. False!!

It could be things like: 

• Not speaking your CEO’s language
• Performance in your org is a hot ass mess
• Interpersonal dynamics at play 

Let’s dig into each one and see if anything stands out to you!

You’re Not Speaking Your CEO’s LanguageCopy anchor linkCopied

If you’ve ever said “We need to improve employee engagement” and watched your CEO’s eyes glaze over, then congratulations, you’ve just witnessed the language barrier in action!

You’re fluent in empathy, they’re fluent in margin, and as a result, translations are necessary.

Some (maybe most??) CEOs don’t wake up thinking about culture or belonging. They think about growth, runway, and whether the board will still love them next quarter. 

Now, that doesn’t necessarily make them cold or uncaring. It just makes them more focused on things like accountability.

So your job isn’t to convince leadership that engagement matters…it’s to show them how engagement drives business outcomes. 

That’s the difference between being seen as “just HR” and being seen as a strategic partner.

Ethena’s article, HR and the CEO: 6 tips for a stronger working relationship does a great job of nailing this point. It’s less about charm and more about alignment. 

For example, if your CEO is focused on customer acquisition, tie your retention strategy to customer satisfaction. 

If they’re focused on cutting costs, show how bad management decisions lead to higher turnover and replacement expenses.

And when you make your case, use the words they use:

• Employee engagement ➡️ Productivity per headcount
• Learning and development ➡️ Manager performance enablement
• Culture work ➡️ Operational efficiency through improved collaboration

Let semantics be a part of your strategy.

Because here’s what you need to answer: Is leadership ignoring you, or are they filtering for relevance?

Until you start speaking their language, you’ll sound like a well-meaning side character in their main plotline.

Your Performance Strategy Is Based on VibesCopy anchor linkCopied

Let’s talk about the messy middle: performance.

Every leadership team loves to say they’re building a “high-performance culture.” 

But if you look closely, you’ll still find overlooked performance issues hiding in plain sight… the toxic engineer no one wants to work with, the “nice but not great” manager coasting on tenure, or the well-meaning try-hard whose teammates quietly carry their weight.

That’s not high performance. That’s confusion dressed up as culture.

If your performance processes are inconsistent, subjective, or overly complex, it doesn’t matter how much data you track. Leaders won’t trust HR’s recommendations because they don’t trust the data behind them.

Ethena has 5 tips to help managers hold teams accountable, without the drama, and there’s a golden truth running through all of it: accountability is about clarity, not confrontation.

When your org lacks a consistent, transparent framework for evaluating performance, everything becomes negotiable.

That’s when you start hearing:
💬 “But she’s been here forever.”
💬 “He’s not great, but he’s loyal.”
💬 “They’re not hitting goals, but they’re a culture fit.”

Translation? Your performance strategy is based on vibes. 🙃

If you want leadership to actually listen when you flag a performance problem, you need evidence, and that starts with streamlined, clear systems.

Take a page from how Ethena trains teams:
✨ Simple, behavior-based frameworks instead of vague competency matrices.
✨ Regular, structured check-ins instead of surprise-attack annual reviews.
✨ Clear, consistent language for feedback instead of HR buzzword soup.

When performance is clear, your data becomes actionable.

And when your data is actionable, guess what? Leadership starts listening.

Because suddenly, you’re not “HR with opinions.” You’re “HR with proof.”

You Can’t Influence your Way out of a Bad RelationshipCopy anchor linkCopied

Okay, now for the part nobody wants to talk about: sometimes, the reason you’re not being heard is you, or more accurately, your dynamic with leadership.

We love to think business is objective, but influence is human. 

Tone, trust, and timing matter as much as the message.

💔 Unfortunately, if your relationship with your CEO is transactional or tense, even your best ideas will land flat. 

And you can’t wait for a crisis to build trust!

Relationships are built in the quiet moments like the weekly check-ins, the “how are you actually doing?”s, and the curiosity about what they need.

Try questions like:

• “What keeps you up at night about the business?”
• “What would make you feel confident in our talent strategy?”
• “What are you hearing from other leaders that you wish HR addressed?”

Want more examples? Here are 15 questions for HRBPs to ask leaders in their 1:1s.

Notice none of them are defensive or tactical questions. They’re collaborative ones.

As your relationships grows, your ability to influence will get stronger. 

If I zoom out for a minute, HR isn’t losing influence because of a lack of strategy. It’s losing influence because of perception. 

We’re often seen as rule enforcers instead of business enablers.

Unfortunately, you can’t fix that perception overnight, but when you show up as a partner who listens first, translates second, and advises third, that perception will slowly change. 

That’s how you turn “HR says we should” into “Here’s what HR recommends, and here’s why we’re doing it.”

Why This Is Way Bigger Than Just HRCopy anchor linkCopied

Your leadership not listening to you is frustrating, but it’s also just straight-up expensive!

❌ Every ignored warning about burnout leads to attrition. 

❌ Every delayed conversation about accountability leads to mediocrity. 

❌ Every “let’s circle back” to your proposal chips away at the trust your employees have in the company.

When HR doesn’t have a seat at the table, the whole org suffers.

But don’t worry, I come bearing good news: the tide is turning! 🔥

More CEOs are realizing that their people problems are their business problems. 

FINALLY 🙌

And the most successful HR leaders aren’t just sitting around and waiting to be heard…they’re reframing how they speak, how they measure, and how they partner.

So this is about being clearer, not louder.

If you can show how People strategies accelerate growth, mitigate risk, and strengthen performance, you’ll stop being the department that leadership checks in with and start being the one they depend on.

Sounds like the dream, right???

Wanna Keep This Conversation Going?Copy anchor linkCopied

Listen, I can rant all day about how misunderstood HR is (and trust me, I often do). 

I’m a total nerd about data and how to use it to get what you need, if you couldn’t tell! 🤓

But if you’re ready to change how your leadership sees you and actually follow through with it, you need to join this conversation live.

Ethena is hosting a webinar you don’t want to miss:

🎙️ Why your leadership team doesn’t take you seriously (and how to fix it)
📅 November 18th at 2pm ET
💡 Hosted by Melanie Naranjo, Chief People Officer, Ethena, with Melanie Rosenwasser, CPO, Dropbox

This isn’t another feel-good talk; it will be a tactical blueprint for getting the respect HR deserves.

You’ll walk away with real, tactical ways to:

• Translate People priorities into business results that actually move the needle
• Build performance systems leaders trust, rooted in clarity, not vibes
• Strengthen executive partnerships so HR drives strategy, not just enforces policy

If you’re tired of being seen as a harmless pencil pusher at best and an out-of-touch distraction at worst, this is the webinar for you!

Because HR sure as hell doesn’t need more platitudes. 

It needs more power, and Ethena’s showing exactly how to get it.

Get the respect HR deserves

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Thanks for reading this deep dive! Reply with any thoughts you have.

XOXO,  

Hebba Youssef