📓 toxic vibes & family drama

🙃 unprofessionalism at work

✍🏾 Any tips for handling an unprofessional “HR” person?

Context: I work for a small company. The woman who is our “HR” also has other roles such as being the accountant, etc. for the company. She often talks about other employees behind their backs, and has even made fun of HR complaints people  have brought to her in front of me to the company owner, who the complaint was about. Of course, this means I feel I have absolutely no HR options at all. Is eventually finding a new job the only way to deal with this? It feels positively toxic. The owner would never part with her either.

📣 Maleea Meden, HR Director @ World Centric:

I’m not sure the boss needs to part way with this employee, but you need to find a way to let both of them know that HR skills are non-existent in the company. 

I would send a note to the owner stating something to the effect of: Some of the employees, including myself, are wondering at what point we will consider having dedicated HR support – a person who is knowledgeable about HR but, more importantly, takes confidentiality and discretion seriously. If we’re not at a size that requires a dedicated HR person, would you consider contracting with an external partner that provides these services to smaller companies?

📣 Sondra Norris, OD/OE Consulting:

Tough love answer. Stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and their motivations and work on what you can do to make the best (get what you need) from this job. You have very little influence to change or improve this situation.

Learn how to handle situations you think you need HR or “should be” handled by HR yourself.

You don’t have to play the game, but you must know the rules of the game.

Which first and foremost means knowing yourself and being accountable to yourself, knowing how to emotionally regulate so you can more objectively assess situations like this, without the distortion of your activated lens.

“Keep your enemies closer” comes to mind as long as you’re capable of discerning your own boundaries.

Every org has its share of BS because of how humans operate within their constructs that force power and politics. Until you figure yourself out, you’ll selectively see all and only the BS.

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✍🏾 My boss’s wife and kids constantly are interrupting the workflow of employees. How do I bring this up to him without being rude?

Context: Company size, 150 employees. Family, laid back culture.

📣 Carolyn Clark, VP of Employee Comms and Experience @ Simpplr:

Oof, that’s a tricky one – especially in a smaller, family-feel company where boundaries can blur.

A few thoughts and questions: have you introduced a feedback mechanism (even anonymously)? If this is something that’s affecting multiple people, it may naturally surface there. That gives you a neutral, data-backed way to raise it.

If you’re not ready for that, or it’s really just you noticing it, you might frame it as a workflow challenge – not a personal one. Something like: “Hey, I’ve noticed some interruptions during heads-down time that are throwing off our rhythm a bit. Any ideas on how we could protect focus time better?”

Keep it light, focus on the impact, not the people. and maybe bring a potential solution with you – like quiet hours, or a signal when folks shouldn’t be disturbed.

Kindness and clarity go a long way, especially in close-knit cultures.

📣 Inas Laghzaoui, Head of HR & CSAT @ CE Brands International:

I’d say be mindful of how you bring this up, framing it as a disturbance or interruption could feel personal and put him on the defensive.

You could say: “I really appreciate how welcoming our workplace is. I was thinking it could be even better if we had a small lounge or designated space for visiting family. That way, families have a comfortable spot to hang out, and employees can stay focused and productive.”

This way, you’re highlighting the comfort of his family, which could make him more open to the idea, while also mentioning how it impacts the employees’ productivity without pointing fingers.

I hope this helps!

📣 Sondra Norris, OD/OE Consulting:

Not a lot of detail to go on here… but the general problem seems to be: “How do I bring this up without offending others or endangering myself?”

#1: Don’t assume how the boss feels about it – it might be just as irritating to him… he’s saddled with telling his wife and kids which is also danger-zone for him. Remember that bosses rarely have all the information – people censor themselves so that bosses can feel positive about their company. Many times when bosses finally hear about something they’re puzzled that no one brought it up, and they’re mad that no one brought it up because they were denied the opportunity to fix it.

#2: Start doing a weekly post-mortem. Here’s the stuff we said we’d do, by when, to what quality and cost, who was involved, etc. Here’s the stuff we got done and here’s why the things that didn’t happen… didn’t happen.

#3: Go straight at it and give the boss a chance to respond – in a private conversation. Hey, I’m a little worried about bringing this up, but I’m dedicated to our success. And then cite 1 or 2 SUPER SPECIFIC examples. Bob was working on X, high priority. Janie and Jackie interrupted (are they little kids or grown-ups?). Here’s what happened (consequences to project/work). Avoid using words like “constantly.” Then be quiet. Let them respond.

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