♡ it’s personal

How do you support employees going through hard personal times, while still holding them accountable to their jobs?

Context: Thinking about specific instances where the personal hardships are obviously wearing on employees’ minds. We’ve been softly promoting mental health support options without calling direct attention to the matter and providing leadership with support, encouraging time off, considering leaves of absence, etc. How can we, as HR leaders, equip leaders to handle these difficult times and ensure employees feel valued and supported — while still holding them accountable?

Tammi Burnett, Director of People and Culture at Rainforest Action Network:

The world is falling apart, so we should expect this to become more the norm than not. There’s no one way to do this, and it really depends on the situation. As an HR Director, I lead with empathy and compassion and try to take the time to really understand what’s happening for someone. I ask questions and try to be curious, and I let them know that I’m going to try to brainstorm solutions with them. 

If possible, I like to offer them a menu of options for their situation (for example, sharing the leaves they may be eligible for, talking them through accommodations if relevant, etc.), and then just checking in about what they can commit to.

Jessie Fields, Director, Talent Development & DEI at C2FO:

Anytime employees experience a tragedy large or small, the grief permeates their entire lives.

What we SHOULD do:

1. Acknowledge the grief. More than half of employees consider leaving their company when their grief is unsupported. It’s not your job to “fix” anything, but what you can do is help them feel seen and heard. You can say something like, “I wish I had the right words, but I’m here for you and I care about you.”
2. Make a plan. Changes will be necessary to make space for your employee to grieve. And sometimes work – the appropriate amount and type of work – can be a helpful constant amidst the chaos. Ask things like, “What feels possible to get done today/this week?”
3. Check in often. It might seem best to leave your employee alone while they grieve as to not bog them down with work, but checking in shows how much you care.

What we SHOULDN’T do:

1. Act like nothing happened. When we don’t know what to say, we often don’t say anything at all, especially if we’re afraid we’ll hurt someone further. Ignoring their grief keeps your employee from feeling valued.
2. Offer vague statements like “take all the time you need.” While this sounds supportive on the surface, it sets unclear expectations and puts the burden on the employee to create the plan. A clear plan from employers is more supportive than tip-toeing.
3. Offer platitudes like “time heals all wounds” or “everything happens for a reason.” Platitudes are where we go when we don’t know what to say, but they can feel disingenuous and lack empathy.

If you’re looking for a masterclass in how to support a grieving employee, I’d encourage you to follow Mindy Corporon, Co-Founder of Workplace Healing, LLC.

I need some guidance: I have an inkling that an employee I supervise may have a learning disorder (not disclosed) and a short-term memory issue (also not disclosed). How do I handle this situation?

Context: Company size 15, non-profit, grant funded only

Lia Seth, People/HR Director at Cylinder:

The best approach in this case is to treat this like any other performance concern. In other words, whether or not they have a disability or other condition that affects their cognition, you should treat them like a team member you want to help succeed.

First, name what you’re seeing (“your summary emails are missing key data from our meetings” or “the reports you’re turning in to leadership have some major typos,” etc.) and then ask for their thoughts and ideas. You can say something like, “what can we do to make sure this is better going forward? How can I support?” Maybe they’ll share that they’re dealing with some personal issues outside of work that are making it hard to concentrate that have nothing to do with their health. Or maybe they’ll admit they don’t feel confident in their training and need a refresher. You don’t need to speculate on what’s causing the issue – just focus on the results you want to see, and do it in a way that allows space for their humanity.

If they do disclose a disability, thank them for their trust, and then work together through your accommodations process to find a solution that works for everyone. There are lots of ways to meet someone’s needs, so start by asking for what they need! They may need to start carrying a notebook to meetings to jot down action items, or to meet with you more often to check in on their understanding of work projects. There’s no one right answer here!